Win an election, lose a campaign

It was with guarded optimism that I watched the returns from the 'election of our lifetime' the other night. I am ecstatic that Barack Obama won with such a large margin, and happy that the democratic standing in congress was impressively boosted. As the reality of this great moment became apparent, another more noteworthy loss was what stole the thunder for me and my community. Of course, as a gay man, I am speaking of the defeat of gay marriage initiatives in California, Arizona, and Florida. Unfortunately, hate and misunderstanding still exist to a large degree in this 'changed country'.

Prop 8 in California is probably the most noteworthy, since it is getting continuing coverage nationally, as protesters take to the streets and openly protest the Mormon church and others who voted yes on the proposal. I certainly understand the emotional outpouring of my fellow gay citizens in California, but I wonder if their protests could be better aimed at the real issue at hand.

With the enormous get out the vote campaign, which I proudly took part in here in Michigan, the gay community in California made strategic blunders in their reaching out to their faith-based communities. Religious beliefs and moralities are entrenched in people, usually from a very young age, and it is my opinion that the gay community is focusing all of their strength on what might be the wrong message. We continue to try to rewrite peoples beliefs instead of focusing on the human aspect and civil legality of the issue.

I do understand those who want to have gay marriage legalized, for this to many is the ultimate measure of gay equality. I also would like to take a look at another side of this issue. Is it really the word 'marriage' that we should be fighting for? I mean really, for me and my partner, this is about equality and civil rights of gay couples. The vast majority of religions preach from the bible, which has a predisposed prejudice against homosexual relationships. I personally don't believe that the bible is the ultimate word, as I believe that a lot of translation and personal opinion has been added to the bible through the years. But the question has to be, are the vast amount of supporters of gay marriage looking for the civil and legal equality equated with marriage, or are they looking for the faith-based community to accept and absolve them to make themselves feel better about their lives? One would wonder.

I believe this movement needs to take a look deep inside of itself and answer that question. There are groups out there who will simply continue to hate gays because of their deep religious beliefs. Are we better served to try to 'change' these peoples beliefs, or to educate those people that we are really no different except for our sexuality, and that we deserve rights, too? This fight over the word 'marriage' seems to me to be detrimental to the cause. We have a community rich with creative and intelligent individuals. Can't we come up with a different concept that we can make our own, and not try to become a part of those groups that hate us so? Ask yourselves, what are we really fighting for?